Teaser
Ext. roadside halloween maze - day
It's Halloween, and many kids have gathered around this maze dressed up in an assortment of costumes. The camera pans around a number of people as the host exclaims the rules of the game.
Host
Come, my brave children, to the hideous Halloween maze. Avoid the creepies and the crawlies that live in every dark corner of the maze. And the first one to reach the centre and emerge alive will win the grand prize. AHA!
A pistol is shot, declaring the beginning of the race, as the children break through the starting line and push past each other into the maze.
The maze is covered with traps and dead ends. As the kids run around, the camera follows one boy, MATTY, a heavy-set boy dressed as a fuzzy bear. Matty is clearly lost and frightened as he runs around aimlessly in the maze. Matty comes across the hanging skeleton, scared by it turns in the other direction. Matty runs into the large witch at the intersection and he turns, once more, scared. Through the tunnels of the maze, you can see other children running about, trying to get to the centre. Matty whimpers and looks around, scared.
Matty
Where am I?
Matty looks down one of the pathways of the maze, and there sits a skeleton in an electric chair indicating a dead end.
A woman dressed in a cat costume lunges out at Matty and scares him. Matty stands in front of the large black witch.
Matty (CONT'D)
I'm lost! Somebody help me!
Matty begins to run. A GRIM REAPER jumps out at Matty. Matty screams and begins to run again. Matty runs passed the noose. The bottom half of a hanging mummy can be seen quickly.
Matty comes face to face with the mummy.
CLOSE ON
The mummy's face. A spider crawls out of the eye socket.
BACK TO SCENE
Matty begins screaming. The spider falls on his nose. Matty faints.
Ext. Halloween maze - night
The maze is all lit up with hanging ornament lights. Sirens wail in the background, as witnesses are being interviewed.
DR. POTOSKA leads BRENNAN and BOOTH into the maze.
Potoska
Right this way, miss.
Booth admires the costumes.
Booth
Now, that's an excellent costume.
What are you wearing?
Brennan
What? Now?
Booth
No, not now. At the Jeffersonian's Halloween Ball.
Int. halloween maze - night
Booth and Brennan followed Dr. Potoska.
Brennan
What I always wear. Are you going this year?
Booth
I'm the official unofficial FBI liaison to the Jeffersonian. Of course I'm going.
Dr. Potoska notes the wolfman. Potoska walkies another officer.
Potoska
We just passed the wolfman.
Deputy (o.s.)
Go straight towards the guillotine and veer left.
Potoska turns to look at Booth and Brennan.
Potoska
It's a maze. What can I do?
Booth, Brennan and Potoska continue through the maze.
Brennan
Dr. Potoska, how were the remains discovered?
Potoska
A kid passed out.
Brennan
What killed him?
Potoska
Oh, the kid didn't die. He just fainted.
Brennan
Then why am I here?
They walk past a hanging skeleton.
Potoska
Well, when Matty fainted, I was here with my own kids. I'm a
pediatrician, but I'm also the coroner.
Booth
Small town.
They continue to walk through the maze. As Potoska begins, and continues to talk, Booth gets separated momentarily from Brennan and Potoska.
Potoska
Yeah, well, Matty revived easily enough. Uh, he's what you call a nervous-type kid. But then I saw what it was that made him faint in the first place and I almost fainted too, because it was a mummy, which I told the
sheriff, who called the FBI, who called the Jeffersonian. And now here we are, lost in this stupid maze looking for the mummy.
Booth reappears and joins Brennan and Potoska.
Booth
A mummy?
Potoska
(in walkie)
Yeah, I do not see a guillotine.
Potoska looks at a scarecrow wearing a cowboy hat.
Potoska (CONT'D)
What would you call that?
Brennan
A cowboy?
Booth
No, it's a scarecrow.
Deputy (o.S.)
Look, just keep turning to the right, all right? Let me know when you reach the dragon.
The trio turn, and are greeted by a red and green monkey face with big white teeth.
Potoska
(to walkie)
Dead end, with teeth.
Deputy (o.S.)
That's because you turned left at the globin. You were supposed to turn right.
Potoska turns around.
Booth
Look, when you say a mummy? You mean... ?
Potoska
Wrapped in bandages, curse of King Tut.You know, a mummy.
BRENNAN
No offense, but I'm not certain a pediatrician is qualified.
POTOSKA
Pediatrician AND coroner. See that? Yeah.
They stand in front of the electric chair.
POTOSKA (CONT'D)
(in walkie)
Okay, we are at the electric chair.
DEPUTY
There's an electric chair?
BOOTH
Look, just tell the guy to throw his flashlight up in the air, will ya?
POTOSKA
The FBI requests that you toss your flashlight into the air.
The DEPUTY is with the mummy.
DEPUTY
Ten-four.
The Deputy tosses his flashlight into the air. Booth sees it.
BOOTH
Ah! There it is.
POTOSKA
Oh, let's see if we can get there this way.
Potoska begins to walk in the opposite direction. Brennan follows him. Booth stops them both.
BOOTH
Guys?
They stop to turn and look at him. Booth turns around and knocks down the haystack wall. The Deputy stands on the other side of the now fallen wall. The Deputy stands next to the mummy. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundles.
POTOSKA
(to Brennan)
After you.
Booth stumbles on the bales of hay, regains his balance and breaths in. He looks up and sees the mummy.
BOOTH
Oh!
Brennan and Potoska follow Booth and climb over the fallen hay bundles
BOOTH (CONT'D)
What do you think, Bones?
Brennan examines at the mummy.
BRENNAN
Well, ocular contents dry, ramus collapsed, leathery skin. These are actual human remains.
POTOSKA
A mummy.
BRENNAN
How long will it take to get out of this maze?
BOOTH
Not as long as you might think.
Booth takes out his car keys and holds them up. Booth presses a button and his car alarm chirps. Booth turns around and knocks down the nearby hay wall. Booth's SUV is right on the opposite side of the now demolished wall. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundlers and looks back to Brennan and lifts his arms with a look on his face that says 'it was that easy.'
End of teaser
Act I
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / EXAMINATION TABLE
CAM and ZACK examine the mummified remains.
HODGINS, currently offscreen, is also on the platform.
Cam
It takes a steady flow of dry air over a long period of time to achieve this kind of desiccated mummification.
ZACK
The Incan Ice Woman of Peru, the Tarim Basin mummies of China, the peat bog Tollund Man in Denmark.
Zack turns to look at the x-rays up on the screen.
HODGINS sits at a desk, his feet up, and a pumpkin full of candy in his lap. Hodgins is sucking on a lollipop.
Hodgins
How old are we talking?
Zack
Buttons, zipper, rivets. She's probably wearing jeans.
Hodgins
So, freakazoid murder-mummification rather than fascinating history?
Cam
She?
Zack
Shape of the innominate bone indicates female.
Cam
Now listen, boys. The Jeffersonian Halloween party, it's compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels, benefactors. So we all show up in costume and do our duty.
Hodgins is about to say something but Cam silences him with a finger.
Cam (CONT'D)
I don't want any argument on this.
Zack
I will be the back end of a cow.
Hodgins
So, now costume?
Zack
Naomi, from Paleontology, has agreed to be my front.
Cam begins to cut the dressings from the mummy.
Hodgins
Oh, so many jokes, so little time.
Cam shakes her head as she smiles.
Hodgins (CONT'D)
It's fine. We're all in. I'll be Edward John Smith for Halloween.
Cam looks up to Hodgins with a look of confusion on her face as she frowns. Zack notices.
Zack
Ill-fated captain of the Titanic.
Cam
What about Angela and Brennan?
Zack
Dr. Brennan always wears the same costume to this things. She loves it.
Cam
Help me remove these.
Cam and Hodgins slowly pull the dressings apart.
Hodgins
What's with the smell?
Cam
Cedar oil?
Zack
Also used in mummification.
Cam
What about this clear coating over the skin?
Hodgins
Lacquer?
Cam
She was painted to death?
HODGINS
The clothing came from a church-run thrift store.
CAM
How could you possibly know that?
ZACK
There is no bug or slime specific to church thrift stores.
HODGINS
You don't know that. I'm the bug and slime guy. You're just the
auxiliary bone guy who dresses up like the back end of a cow.
CAM
Hodgins?
Hodgins sighs, and rips off the label on the clothing and holds it up for Cam to read.
Cam (CONT'D)
Free Church of America Thrift Store, huh? Tell Booth.
Zack
I knew it wasn't bugs or slime.
Hodgins
No, you didn't! And that's what makes me, King of the Lab!
Cam glares at Hodgins.
Hodgins (CONT'D)
A loyal servant of the Empress.
Hodgins nods respectively towards Cam. Cam smiles with content.
Zack looks from Cam to Hodgins, raising an eyebrow.
Int. Free church of american / thrift store - day
Booth and Brennan walk among the clothing racks at the thrift store while talking with PASTOR BILL JONAS.
PASTOR
Clothes from this ministry were found on a dead body? Well,
I'm afraid that happens fairly often.
BRENNAN
Why?
PASTOR
Because we're a charitable congregation.Homeless people
know that we'll provide them with what they need.
Pastor Jonas puts down the painting he was carrying as Brennan opens the case file and shows him photographs.
Brennan
Do you, by any chance, remember these specific pieces of clothing?
Pastor
This is from your murder victim?
Brennan
(nods)
Mm-hmm.
A TEENAGE BOY wearing a long black trench coat interrupts them.
Boy
Jonas? Do you have anything like this in red?
Pastor
You're looking for something that screams "Satan," right?
Boy
Basically.
Pastor
I think we have a pink cape in the back.Maybe we can dye it.
The boy leaves.
Booth
What kind of church dresses kids like Satanists?
Pastor
Let me show you. At Halloween we do a Hell House. Fornication, theft, murder, gambling, usury, sodomy, abortion.
The pastor shows them a miniature of the Hell House.
Brennan
It's kind of horrific, isn't it?
Pastor
Well, abandoning the path of righteousness is horrific, Dr. Brennan. This is our way of remaking a pagan holiday, Halloween, into a positive celebration of Christian values.
(to girl) )
Excellent prostitute, Stephanie.
A GIRL, dressed provocatively, walks by them and smiles.
Stephanie
Hey.
Booth
Anyone ever dress like a mummy?
Pastor
We've never featured a "false idol" room, though, now that
you mention it, it's not a bad idea.
Brennan
Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs endured for almost 4,000 years, twice the length of Christianity.
Booth
Look, any of your kids suddenly disappear?
Pastor
No.
Brennan
What if the children that you save from abortion grow up to be usurers and sodomites?
Pastor
I don't respond to mocking semantics, Dr. Brennan.
Booth
Nor do I, but she's serious.
Pastor
In that case, my serious answer would be that in being given a chance to live a life, the aborted soul will have a multitude of opportunities to repent for their sins and live bathed in the Holy Spirit.
Brennan nods.
Brennan
Thank you.
Booth
(surprised)
Thank you?
Brennan looks to Booth.
Pastor (O.s.)
You're welcome.
Int. Royal diner - day
ANGELA and Hodgins sit across the table from a red-headed woman named AMBER KIPPLER.
Amber
My name is Amber Kippler. I'm a senior investigator with Doyley
Private Investigations.
Hodgins
Mr. Doyley assured me he'd be taking a personal interest in the search for Ms. Montenegro's husband.
Amber
Interest, yes. But I'll be doing the actual footwork. Mr. Doyley is taking a very personal interest, only not from up close.
Angela
Do you have a lot of experience at this kind of work?
Amber
Angela Montenegro is not your birth name. You changed your name on your 18th birthday because it came to you in a dream.
Angela's jaw drops.
Angela
Um...
Hodgins' eyes widen as he looks at Angela.
Hodgins
You never told me that.
Angela
I never told anybody that.
Amber
If I can discover something nobody knew about a client I'm not being paid to investigate, imagine what I can do for real.
Hodgins
Good point.
Angela
(insisting)
I never told anybody about that.
Amber
Yes, you did, actually. A girl named Roxie whose heart you broke in second year art school.
Angela
Oh...
(smiles)
Roxie.
Angela chuckles.
Hodgins
Wow!
(to Amber)
What do you know about me?
Amber
Wouldn't it be better if we got to Ms. Montenegro's husband,
Grayson "Birimbau" Barasa?
Hodgins
You found something?
Amber
I found the actual human man-in Florida, in the Keys. No
Name Key, very remote.
Angela
Did you talk to him?
Amber
Absolutely not.
Hodgins
Why?
Amber
My instructions were to locate.That being achieved, we can now discuss contact.
Hodgins
We want you to contact him.
Angela
And get him to sign the divorce papers.
Amber
By "get him" do you mean...
Amber looks at Hodgins and Angela. Angela and Hodgins look at her as if insisting the rest of the sentence.
Amber (CONT'D)
...force him to sign them?
Hodgins
If necessary, do you have a gun?
Angela
Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Hodgins
What are you? Canadian?
Amber
We'll do this one step at a time.
Ext. road - day
Booth's SUV is cruising down the road.
Booth (O.S.)
Didn't that pastor guy make you mad?
Brennan
No.
INT. BOOTH'S SUV - day
Booth
He's a fundamentalist.
Brennan
I appreciate consistency.
Booth
Oh what, the consistency of trying to scare kids into Christianity?
Brennan
How do we keep kids from smoking? We tell them it gives them cancer.
Booth
It does give them cancer.
Brennan
According to science.
Booth
You know, that's all you care about is science.
Brennan
In the end, even someone who believes in empiricism and science has to take a leap of faith.
Booth
What?
Brennan
I believe in what I can hear, taste, see, touch and measure. You believe in what you feel. Pastor Jonas believes that God speaks to him through a sacred book.
Booth's cell phone rings.
Booth
Yeah, well, I feel like we're on the wrong side of the argument here.
Booth checks his phone.
Booth (CONT'D)
Oh, it's Cam.
Booth puts Cam on speakerphone.
Booth (CONT'D)
(to Cam)
What's up?
Cam (O.S.)
I really need you to come back.
Int. Medico-legal lab / outside brennan's office - day
Cam is on the phone and walking.
Cam
I got a couple here, says they think the mummy in the maze is
their daughter.
Booth
Oh, that'd save us some time on identification.
Cam
Their daughter only disappeared last week.
Brennan
The remains we found were at least a year old.
Cam
Look, I'm great with corpses, but when it comes to loved ones, let's just say there's a reason why I'm not a pediatrician. So if you got a siren, turn it on.
Booth
Right.
Booth hangs up.
Cam turns around to look at the couple in Brennan's office.
Int. Medico-legal lab / Brennan's Office - day
Booth and Brennan are talking to Megan Shaw's parents, DON SHAW and MARGIE SHAW.
CLOSE ON
Photo of a red-haired teenager.
DON SHAW (o.S.)
Megan is fourteen. She didn't run away.
Margie shaw (O.s.)
Something terrible happened.
Booth
She's a very pretty girl.
Brennan
What makes you think the remains we found are your daughter?
Margie SHAW
The news said that you found the body of a teenage girl in a fun
house. I suddenly knew it was Megan.
Brennan
Suddenly knew?
Booth
Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, it wasn't a fun house. It was a maze.
Brennan
And the remains we found are more than a year old.
MargIE SHAW
You're certain?
Brennan
Yes.
Don shaw
Oh, I see.
Angela knocks on the glass pane, gesturing that she wishes to talk with Booth.
Booth
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Brennan
I don't understand why you're disappointed. Your daughter might still be alive.
Margie shaw
(her voice breaking)
Megan is not still alive.
Angela hands Booth the sketch.
Brennan
How are you so certain?
Margie shaw
I just am. I can't explain it. I'm her mother.
Booth takes a seat next to Margie and Don. Booth shows them Angela's sketch.
Booth
I'm sorry. Does this face mean anything to you?
Don shaw
No.
Margie shaw
Does she have something to do with Megan?
Booth
This is the girl that we found in the maze.
Brennan's phone rings.
Don shaw
Definitely not Megan.
Margie begins to cry.
Brennan answers her phone.
Brennan
Yes?
Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office
Cam
Dr. Brennan, another mummy has been found at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Brennan turns and looks at Booth.
Ext. Shoreline amusement park - night
Brennan and Booth quickly make their way through the park.
Brennan
Perhaps the fact that Megan Shaw disappeared from here and there's
another mummy here is a
coincidence.
Booth
Fact, Bones, there are no coincidences in a murder investigation.
Booth flashes his badge to the officer who points them towards the Dungeon of 1000 Corpses.
Brennan
You do know the strict definition of a fact, right? It's not the
same as a funny feeling.
Booth
Just because somebody says they saw a mummy doesn't mean they actually did.
Booth and Brennan walk up to a BREATHLESS WOMAN sitting on a gurney accompanied by an EMT, PETE GELLER.
Breathless Woman
I know what I saw.
Geller
Keep the mask on, please, ma'am.
Brennan
What's wrong with her?
Geller
Anxiety attack. Brought on by this dungeon here. I spend half my time on these calls.
Brennan
(to the woman)
You know it's not real, right?You're overreacting to an excessive amount of stimuli.
Geller
Keep the mask in place, ma'am.
Brennan
Plus, you should lose some weight.
Geller
(to Brennan)
Um, ma'am?
Booth
Bones, a little compassion.
Breathless woman
I'm not overreacting. There's a dead body in there!
Geller
A thousand of them, to be exact.
Geller turns and motions to the sign.
Close on
Sign that indicates DUNGEON OF A 1000 CORPSES
BACK TO SCENE
Breathless woman
There's a real one. I'm a nurse, trust me! I know a dead body when I see one.
Brennan
(to Geller)
Did you see anything?
Geller
Not much time for that. Just went in, got her, got her out.
Booth leans in, and pulls the oxygen mask away from the woman so she can speak.
Booth
Right. What did you see?
Breathless woman
A corpse. Past the killer clown.
Booth lets go of the mask, his eyes wide.
Booth
(in a higher pitch than usual)
Clown?
Booth looks at Geller.
Geller
You okay?
Booth
Yeah.
Booth stands up straighter, his posture stiff.
Brennan
You sure?
Booth
Sure.
Brennan
Come on.
Brennan heads to entire the dungeon as Booth points to the breathless woman.
Booth
Clown.
Int. Dungeon of 1000 corpses - night
The inside of the dungeon has lights flashing, and a background sound of shrill screams. Booth walks in and stops when he sees the killer clown. The clown has wrinkly skin, and long sharp teeth.
Brennan enters behind him.
Brennan
What's wrong?
Booth jumps and squeals. He pulls out his phone.
Booth
Um... the phone rang. It's Cam on the phone. It's ringing.
Brennan
Coulrophobia.
Booth
Euh?
Brennan
The fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. May explain why you shot that clown last year.
Booth
Look, I have no problems with clowns. I can stand right here. See?
Brennan
Uh-huh...
Booth answers the call.
Booth
On the phone.
(brings the phone to his ear)
Booth.
Int. Medico-legal lab / cam's office
Cam is on the phone with Booth.
Cam
We got an ID on our maze victim off of Angela's sketch.
Booth
Great. Uh, details to follow.
Booth pulls the phone away from his ear, except Cam continues.
Cam
I think you want to hear this now.Name's Stella Higgins, fifteen years old, disappeared a year ago today.
Brennan
What's she saying?
While on the phone, Booth is obviously uncomfortable with the clown. Booth keeps looking back to it as if expecting it to come alive.
Booth
(to Brennan)
ID and date of disappearance of our maze victim.
Cam
Stella was last seen at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Booth
Wow!
Brennan
What wow?
Booth
More coincidences.
(to Cam)
Uh.. Thanks!
Booth hangs up the phone.
Booth (CONT'D)
The maze victim disappeared from here. So we just go right past the clown. I can walk right past the clown, like she said. Just right...
Booth begins to walk past the clown, just as he is facing the clown, the clown begins to rotate and the clown's arm nearly touches Booth. Booth dodges the clown's arm as he lets out a scream.
Booth and Brennan continue through the dungeon.
Brennan
Torture dungeon.
Brennan imitates the "evil laughter" coming from the speakers.
Booth
Yeah, okay. Clown, scary. Not you.
Booth and Brennan enter the torture chamber and begin to look through the various dummy corpses.
Booth scoffs.
Booth (CONT'D)
Oh, gee! You're kidding me, right?
Booth points to a mannequin strapped to a torture chair.
Booth (CONT'D)
Look at the eye, uh? It's a Ping-Pong ball.
Brennan walks up to a pile of corpses, and looks at one in particular.
Brennan
Not this one.
Booth
How do you know?
Brennan
Human remains, Booth, it's sort of my speciality. This is a dead person.
End of act I
Act II
Int. Medico-legal lab / examination area
Zack is examining the most recent victim when Cam walks across the platform towards him.
Cam
Okay, the first thing Booth needs to know is if this is Megan Shaw.
Zack
It is not Megan Shaw.
Cam
I agree. It would be impossible to mummify a body like this in just a little more than a week.
Zack
Dental records do not match.
Zack begins to examine the victim's hand.
Cam
Lacquer and cedar oil. Looks like the same murderer.
Zack
That's leaping to a conclusion.
Cam
I said looks like, Zack. Looks like is not leaping.
Zack
Her phalanges, fingers, are broken. Metacarpals... cracked.
Cam
You've seen something like this before?
Zack
In Iraq, there were some remains. They'd been buried alive.
Cam
This person was buried alive?
Zack
(hesitantly)
I'm not comfortable...
Cam
It looks like this person was buried alive, correct?
Angela interrupts them. She puts up a picture of a dark haired girl with a tattoo. She clips a second picture up underneath it, of a bird tattoo.
Angela
The tattoo on the second victim's shoulder matches that of Judith Suzanne Evans. Sixteen when she went missing.
Cam
How long ago?
Angela
Two years, almost to the day.
Cam
From?
Angela
Shoreline Amusement Park. She was there with her big sister and a couple of her friends.
Hodgins walks in holding a case file.
Hodgins
Skin and hair removed from beneath Stella's fingernails turns out to be her own. Also, the lacquer used on both victims is completely generic. It's widely available.
Zack
She pulled out her own hair?
Angela
What makes somebody do that?
Cam turns around and fiddles with the computer.
Cam
There are small puncture marks, hundreds of them, all over her body. Like insect bites, but larger.
CLOSE ON
Computer screen; zoomed onto the victim's skin. Small puncture marks can be seen all over.
BACK TO SCENE
Hodgins
In both cases, the lacquer was infused with a number of particulates including a spore I'm trying to identify.
Cam addresses Zack.
Cam
Are you ready to admit that it looks like both these girls were killed and mummified by the same person?
Zack
I'm not prepared to...
Cam/angela/hodgins
... jump to that conclusion?
Zack nods in agreement.
Ext. Shoreline amusement park / dungeon of a 1000 corpses - night
Booth gathered all the employees of the Dungeon and the manager. Among the employees there's a man wearing the same grim reaper costume from the maze.
Manager
Come on. You expect me to know when one body appeared in
a pile of bodies? That's not reasonable.
Booth
An actual genuine corpse appears, and you don't notice?
Manager
The place is called Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses.
Booth
Which is why an entire FBI forensics team is sweeping this facility.
The camera pans over a GOTH GIRL with several piercings named LOLA.
Lola
This hole counts as a facility?
Booth notices the grim reaper.
Booth
I know you.
GRIM REAPER
No.
Booth
Yeah. You were at the maze the other night. Same costume.
Grim reaper
Oh... yeah.
Booth
Yeah. You're just recalling that, huh? What's your name?
Grim reaper
Gregg.
Booth
Little hint. FBI asks for your name, you give the whole name.
Manager
His name's Gregg Liscombe. He's worked here three years. You're not supposed to wear the costume to other gigs, dude. Dilutes the
effect.
An FBI forensic tech arrives.
Forensic tech
All the other bodies are fakes, Agent Booth.
Booth
Okay, we'll just keep the entire fun house as a crime scene.
Forensic tech
Yes, sir.
The FBI forensic tech leaves.
Manager
In that case, can I send my people home?
BootH
Oh, no, all your people have got to talk to my people.
(to Gregg)
And you're coming with me.
Gregg
Why?
Booth
Two places with dead bodies, and you're standing in the doorway dressed as the Grim Reaper.
Gregg
It's my job, man. It's not like I adopt the persona.
Lola
Don't say anything without a lawyer, Gregg.
Manager
Tell you what else, Gregg's got the keys to the place.
Lola
Shut up, Dan!
(steps forward)
He's got keys, too and so does cleaning crew and park security.
Booth
Wow, how about you? You got keys?
Lola
I got nothing else to say without a laywer present.
Booth
Okay, that's great, pincushion, 'cause you were practically invisible until now. Now you're bucking as number one suspect.
Lola rolls her eyes at Booth.
Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA - day
Cam, Brennan and Zack are on the platform looking at their latest victim's photograph. The two mummies are on separate tables on the platform.
Brennan
Judith Evans, age 16, our victim from the Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses.
Zack explains his findings with the help of x-rays.
Zack
I've identified stress fractures to both tibias, as well as tears to the medial collateral and anterior cruciate ligaments in both knees.
Brennan
Catcher's knee.
Cam
There's nothing in the bio about Judith Evans being a baseball player.
Zack
Compressions to vertebrae C1 through C7 indicate that her neck was bent like this.
Zack demonstrates by showing how her neck must have been bent.
Brennan
But forced.
Cam
I am not liking the picture that's forming inside my head. Phalanges cracked, and her fingernails shredded, her head forced that way, her knees jammed up against her chest. Do we think Judith Evans was buried alive?
Hodgins enters the platform.
Hodgins
I... uh... I have... another bad image of how Stella Higgins died.
Brennan
Spiders?
Hodgins
Tarantulas, to be specific.
Cam
Poisonous spiders?
Hodgins places a slide under a microscope and brings it up on the computer monitor as he explains.
Hodgins
That's a common misconception, though the lack of poison doesn't make the bite any less painful. This is an urticating hair from the Theraphosinae family.
Zack
It appears to be barbed.
Hodgins
Yeah. It's very irritating. Hey, little-known fact: tarantula hair was the main ingredient in itching powder for decades.
Zack
Is there any correlation between these hairs and the fact that Stella Higgins scratched herself so badly, and pulled out her own hair?
Cam
She's bitten all over. There had to be dozens of tarantulas on her so, yeah, there's a correlation.
Hodgins
I was operating under the assumption that the mysterious spore was transported by the tarantula, but I was wrong.
Brennan
How do you know?
Hodgins
Because there's no tarantula hairs on Judith Evans, but plenty of the
spores and particulates. She has carcinogenic dibenzopyrene isomers, asbestos, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, manganese and barium and steel dust.
Cam
Which adds up to?
Zack
Internal combustion engines.
Hodgins
Traffic, except for the steel dust. I have no clue about the steel dust.
Cam walks over to the computer while discussing about the tox screens, and brings up both tox screens on the computer monitor for comparison.
Cam
Well, Stella's tox results show chloroform, ephedrine, theophylline, clonydine and methamphetamine.
Close on
Computer screen with the victims tox screens.
BACK TO SCENE
CAM (CONT'D)
Judith's remains show trace evidences of the same compounds, but in different concentrations.
Brennan
Ephedrine is synthetic adrenaline.
HODGINS
Most of those are heavy stimulants.
ZACK
Their metabolisms would race.Heart rates would accelerate dangerously.
CAM
Spiders, live burial, drug-induced panic... is our murderer literally
scaring girls to death?
INT. FBI BUREAU / BOOTH'S OFFICE
Booth is talking with a young woman. SANDY EVANS, Judith's sister.
Sandy
I always felt, somehow, that Judy was still alive, even after two years. It's crazy, huh? Probably guilt, right? For letting my little sister out of my sight?
Booth
Look, you can't blame yourself.
Sandy
Did my sister suffer?
Booth remains silent, not answering the question.
Booth
You know, we got the best people in the world figuring out exactly what happened that night.
Booth circles his desk, and takes a seat behind it. He goes through the case file.
Booth (CONT'D)
So, you and your sister went to the amusement park together?
Sandy
It's kind of the thing to do on Halloween. My mom made me take
her. I didn't want to. I mean, I loved Judy...
Booth
But she was your kid sister, pain in the ass.
Sandy
She made me take Judy, even though I didn't want to, and Mom never got over that.
Booth
How did you and Judy get separated?
Sandy
Judy got scared. She didn't want to go in the fun house.
Booth
Why?
Sandy
There was this huge monster above the door. Judy freaked. She said go ahead, she'd wait outside. Judy was claustrophobic.
Booth
How bad?
Sandy
Pretty bad. She wigged out when we were driving down. There were six of us jammed in a car. We had to stop and let her out a couple times.
Booth
Do you remember if there was a Grim Reaper that night at the entrance?
Sandy
Yeah, there was.
Booth walks around his desk, sits next to Sandy and shows her Gregg's photo.
Booth
Could that be him?
Sandy takes the photo of Gregg.
Sandy
Yeah. When we came out looking for Judy, he told us she had taken off with some guy.
Booth
The police could never confirm that.
Int. Fbi bureau / interROGATION ROOM
Booth slams a mugshot of Gregg down on the interrogation table.
BOOTH
Registered sex offender. He was present at two places where the remains of young girls were found.
Booth and Brennan are questioning Gregg.
Gregg
Coincidence.
Brennan
Statistically improbable.
Booth
Scientifically improbable but, in the real world, impossible.
Brennan
Do you recognize these two girls?
Brennan places two photographs, one of Judith Evans, and one of Stella Higgins on the table infront of Gregg.
Gregg
Man, every girl that comes in there talks to me. I don't
remember them.
Brennan
Why does every girl talk to you?
Gregg
Cause I'm cute, scary.
Booth
Yeah, you do pretty well with the teenage girls, don't you, Gregory? You get them all tingly?
Gregg
All right, that sex offender thing? It's a joke, man. Look it up. I got drunk, and I took a
leak in a public fountain.
Brennan
Yeah, we did look it up. There was a group of school girls on the other side of that fountain.
Booth
Four times, you've been caught with your pants down, all around teenage girls. Coincidence?
(points to Judith Evans photograph)
Two years ago, you told this girl's sister that she took off with some guy.
Brennan
Do you remember her?
Gregg
Yeah, sure. It's the girl that disappeared.
Booth
The thing about you guys, you're all the same. You sniff each other out. Who was the guy?
Gregg doesn't say anything.
Brennan
Judith Evans disappeared October 24th, two years ago. Stella Higgins, one year ago, a week before Halloween.
Gregg
So?
Brennan adds a third photo, Megan Shaw.
Brennan
So, Megan Shaw vanished from the same place.
Booth
You can see the common element here, can't you, Gregg? You.
Gregg
Coincidence.
Brennan
There are no coincidences in a murder investigation.
Gregg
Well, it's got nothing to do with me.
Booth slaps Gregg up the side of the head.
Gregg (CONT'D)
Ow! Geez, you can't... Did you see that?
Brennan doesn't stop Booth from slapping Gregg upside the head again. Booth grabs Gregg by the shoulder and forces him to look at the photographs.
Booth
Hey! Megan Shaw was 14 years old.Understand me? Who was the guy?
Brennan looks at Booth, then slaps Gregg.
Booth (CONT'D)
Good shot, Bones.
Brennan
(smils)
Thanks.
Gregg
There was no guy! It was Lola.
Booth
Lola? The girl with the piercings?
Gregg
Yeah.
Booth
What the hell were you doing with her?
Gregg
It's not what you think. The girls come with me, maybe we get it on a little. Lola likes that.
Brennan
Your girlfriend likes to see you with little girls?
Gregg
She likes to interrupt. You know, maybe smack them around a little.
Booth
Smack around?
Gregg
Yeah. It gets Lola hot, for us, for later. Sometimes, maybe
she goes a little too far.
Booth and Brennan exchange a look.
End of act II
Act III
Int. Medico-legal lab / angelA'S OFFICE
Angela and Hodgins follow Amber Kippler into Angela's office.
HODGINS
How did you get to and from a remote, nameless Florida key so fast?
AMBER
It does have a name. Its name is No Name Key. Your confusion is natural.
Amber takes a seat on one of the couch. Hodgins and Angela sit opposite of her.
ANGELA
Uh, did you talk to my husband?
AMBER
Mr. Barasa was very pleasant, very pleasant. I mean, wow! He smelled exactly like a fresh wind just after a summer storm.
HODGINS
You smelled him?
AMBER
Part of the private investigator credo, Dr. Hodgins, insure that the client, that's you.
Amber looks to Angela.
Angela
... and him.
Angela motions to Hodgins.
HODGINS
I'm paying.
AMBER
The credo says make sure the client is committed to their objective at each step, ergo, fresh wind after summer storm reminder.
ANGELA
Despite the storm, I want a divorce.
AMBER
In that case, the news is disappointing.Mr. Barasa was nice, but adamant, no divorce.
HODGINS
Was it because he doesn't remember getting married?
AMBER
Mr. Barasa totally remembers everything.He built this for you.
Amber pulls a folder out of her briefcase, and hands Angela a photograph.
Amber (CONT'D)
A house.
Hodgins looks from Amber to Angela. He leans back and looks at the photograph.
HODGINS
A shack!
AMBER
A whimsical cottage.
ANGELA
It's darling. He built a house? For me?
HODGINS
Okay, let's be honest. It's a shanty.
AMBER
Here's what Mr. Barasa said 100% verbatim, word for word.
HODGINS
Verbatim means word for word.
AMBER
What?
HODGINS
You sort of said it twice.
ANGELA
Hodgins.
AMBER
I quote literally to the letter, Ever has it been that love does not know its own depth until the pain of separation?
HODGINS
Wow. The guy writes poetry.
ANGELA
(rolls her eyes)
Please.
AMBER
He was talking about you, Ms. Montenegro, with tears in his eyes.
ANGELA
He should get a grip.
Amber picks up her things, and stands up.
AMBER
What would you like me to do next?
HODGINS
What are you gonna do here, Ange?This guy built you a house. He cried a little bit.
AMBER
He smelled like a fresh wind after a summer storm, and you can practically see the lights of Havana from the porch of that cottage.
Angela stands up and crosses her arms.
ANGELA
I want a divorce. If I'm gonna shack up with anybody, it's this guy.
Hodgins stands up, and surpresses a smile. He looks to Amber.
HODGINS
We're gonna discuss this between ourselves, Miss Kippler. I'll let you know how we want to proceed.
AMBER
Okay.
Amber begins to leave, but turns around before exiting.
AMBER (CONT'D)
Did I mention he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen? Don't blame me. PI code:Keep it real.
Amber leaves, and Hodgins scoffs.
Int. Fbi bureau
Booth and Brennan exit Booth's office, and walk past several desks.
BOOTH
That girl Lola gets off on inflicting pain.
BRENNAN
Were you gonna hit her, too?
BOOTH
No, not with a closed fist.
BRENNAN
Why?
BOOTH
Why? That leaves a mark.
A SHORT STUBBY MAN walks up to Booth and Brennan.
BURNS
Agent Booth.
BOOTH
Yeah?
BURNs
Spoke with the Shaws. Asked if their daughter had any specific phobias.
BOOTH
Yeah?
BURNS
Snakes.
BOOTH
Snakes.
BURNS
One crawled up out of the drain of her bathtub when she was a child. So since then...
BOOTH
Okay, that's good. Just call all the pet shops, the reptile specialists... I don't know, the World of Snakes, and see who's been buying 'em all up.
Burns stops walking, and then goes back on his tracks to do what Booth instructed him to.
Booth and Brennan head towards the elevators.
BRENNAN
Does Lola strike you as a snake person?
BOOTH
Look, I'll deal with Lola. You go back to the lab.
BRENNAN
Why?
(presses the elevator button)
I won't hit her unless you say so.
Booth and Brennan walk into the elevator.
BOOTH
Look, I'll do my street thing, you do your lab thing, all right?
(presses the button)
Together, we catch bad guys. That's good math.
Booth sighs. Brennan gives Booth a sideways glance as the doors shut.
Int. Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA
Hodgins, dressed as the Captain of the Titanic, looks through a microscope. Cam, dressed as Catwoman, peers over his shoulder.
CAM
The lacquer holds tarantula hairs, your mystery spores and particulates, which suggests heavy traffic.
HODGINS
I'm aware of the parameters. I told you all that stuff.
CAM
I'm thinking aloud. It's a technique.
Brennan walks up to them. She isn't dressed in her costume yet.
BRENNAN
Are you concentrating on the spores?
Hodgins looks through his scope, slowly getting annoyed.
HODGINS
Yes, I'm looking at them now.
CAM
He's aware of the parameters.
BRENNAN
And the unexplained source of the steel dust?
Hodgins pries himself away from the scope.
HODGINS
What I'd like is to look up from this microscope in about... hm... ten seconds and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate.
Cam and Brennan take a couple of steps away from him, and patiently wait.
Hodgins resumes his examination through the scope.
HODGINS (CONT'D)
Oh, not nearly far enough. Not even close.
Brennan and Cam move to the far end of the platform. Brennan looks at Cam.
BRENNAN
Is that your costume?
CAM
Uh, yeah.
BRENNAN
It's sexually alluring.
CAM
Thank you. I'm Catwoman.
Brennan looks at her blankly.
Cam (CONT'D)
... the superhero.
BRENNAN
Oh!
CAM
One of the most powerful female superhero figures.
BRENNAN
(scoffs)
I don't think so.
CAM
Are you kidding? Catwoman?
BRENNAN
Can you fly?
CAM
I have nine lives.
BRENNAN
Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?
CAM
I think I'm pretty fast.
BRENNAN
Pretty fast is not super speed.
Hodgins walks up to them and rips off his gloves, in doing so interrupts their argument by catching their attention.
HODGINS
Hawaii.
CAM
Hawaii?
HODGINS
The spore is Atronecium from the Haleahi Nebulae. It's a Hawaiian orchid hybrid.
BRENNAN
The victims were mummified in Hawaii?
HODGINS
How else would Hawaiian pollen get absorbed into the wet lacquer?
Cam nods.
Int. Shoreline amusement park / DUNGEON OF 1000 CORPSES - night
CLOSE ON
Sign : Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses
BACK TO SCENE
Booth walks up to Lola.
Lola is fixing a display.
BOOTH
Lola. Remember me?
Booth flashes his badge.
LOLA
Not one word passes through these lips without a lawyer's okay.
BOOTH
Right, and if you can't afford one, which is my guess, one will be provided. Probably a crappy one who studied law on the Internet.
LOLA
What do you want?
BOOTH
You attacked both of those two dead girls.
LOLA
Oh... Did Gregg tell you that?
BOOTH
Yeah, and this one, too.
Booth pulls a photo of Megan from his pocket and shows it to Lola.
LOLA
I didn't kill anyone.
BOOTH
That's right. It was Gregg who forced you to do that. You know what? If you don't tell me what I need to know in two seconds, I'm gonna start removing your piercings and I'm not gonna start with the ones on your face.
LOLA
Look, I roughed 'em up, all right?
BOOTH
Oh?
LOLA
That's it! I was gone. I was out of there, man! Why do you think I'm never charged?
Booth begins to handcuff Lola.
BOOTH
Yeah, okay.
LOLA
I'm gone, man!
BOOTH
Just remember, Maryland and Virginia both have the death penalties. Keep that in mind before we find Megan's body.Let's go.
LOLA
These are really tight, man!
Booth escorts Lola out of the Dungeon.
Ext. Washington - night
Brennan (V.o.)
Don't you have to put on your costume?
Booth (v.o.)
I already did.
Int. Medico-legal lab - night
Booth holds up a case folder.
Booth
I got of the killer from Sweets.
Booth is dressed up as a nerd squint. He wears a clean buttoned up shirt, with a Jeffersonian labcoat over top. He has dark thick rimmed glasses with white tape in the middle.
BRENNAN (o.s.)
You mean Dr. Sweets.
ZOOM OUT
Booth's complete assemble is finished off by the beige pants that are way to short for him and the ginormous calculator tucked into his belt.
BOOTH
Well, it's only theory, Bones. I mean, it's what he's best at. I mean, he's only twelve. Sweets says the killer is definitely a male.
BRENNAN (o.s.)
Gregg is a male.
BOOTH
No, Gregg and Lola work their
sick little thing together.
(reads the file)
Sweets says that the killer works alone and has a respectable blue-collar job. In his public life, he's into saving people, he's unmarried. Oh, he has a police or military background.
Brennan steps out dressed as Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
You do realize that Sweets is describing you, right?
Booth turns around and sees Brennan.
BOOTH
Wow!
BRENNAN
How do I look?
BOOTH
Good. Wonder-ful. Get it?
BRENNAN
Yeah.
BOOTH
'Cause you're Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
I know. What are you supposed to be?
BOOTH
Oh, I'm a nerd squint.
Booth leans over, and pushes his glasses up. He pulls out his big calculator and pushes a few buttons.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
(nasal voice)
You see, what is the rationale behind that conclusion?
Brennan heads towards the platform. Booth follows.
BRENNAN
That's not what they look or sound like.
BOOTH
(nasal voice)
You mean "we." That's not what 'we' look or sound like.
BRENNAN
Okay.
BOOTH
You see what I did right there? I corrected you, you know, in character...
(laughs)
... as a squint!
Brennan and Booth meet up with Zack. Zack is dressed up as the back end of a cow.
ZACK
Angela and Hodgins have a few things to show us before we go to the party.
Zack stares at Booth.
BOOTH
What?
Zack doesn't answer Booth. Brennan and Zack turn and enter Angela's office.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
What?
Int. Medico-legal lab / angela's office / imaging unit - continUOUS
CLOSE ON
The monitor indicates a location marked by a star.
Angela (v.o.)
This marks the location of Shoreline Amusement Park.
Blinking yellow triangles appear on the map
ANGELA (CONT'D)
These are the locations of three pet shops the FBI says sold out of snakes in the last week.
Angela is dressed up as Cher with a large shimmering, feathery, black headgear. She's clad in skimpy black outfit. She explains her findings to Cam, Zack, Brennan and Booth. Booth plays with his calculator as he listens.
BRENNAN
How many snakes in total?
ANGELA
Over a hundred.
CAM
Let me guess, they all paid cash?
ANGELA
Yep.
Cam removes her Catwoman mask.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
And the last place sold out about an hour ago.
BOOTH
Whoa. An hour ago?
Booth takes off his glasses.
BRENNAN
Booth, Megan Shaw is still alive!
BOOTH
Wait a second. Both Gregg Liscombe and Lola are in custody. Sweets was right. They didn't do it.
Cam shouts out the door.
CAM
Hodgins!
(to the others) )
Hodgins has been isolating locations where the dead girls could have been exposed to the metal particulates he found in the lacquer.
BOOTH
Okay, how many?
CAM
One hundred and twenty-six, not including Hawaii.
BOOTH
(shaking his head)
No, one hundred and twenty six, that's not good enough.
Hodgins walks into Angela's office.
BRENNAN
Megan Shaw's still alive.
HODGINS
What do you want me to do?
ZACK
He wants us to guess.
HODGINS
Well, my guess is Hawaii.
Cam shakes her head.
CAM
Not Hawaii.
Booth steps up to Hosgins
BOOTH
Well guess again, but better.
HODGINS
No, sorry.
ANGELA
Booth, they don't guess.
BOOTH
(turns to Angela)
Who's they?
Cam and Angela both point to Zack, Brennan and Hodgins.
cam / angela
Them!
BOOTH
Well, that's just stupid.
ZACK
We do not guess.
BOOTH
You know what? You're a horse's ass.
ZACK
Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder.
BRENNAN
I need Zack and Hodgins. The rest of you can go to the party.
BOOTH
How can we go to a party when a 14-year-old girl's being tortured to death by snakes?
BRENNAN
People like us can't work at full capacity with people like you constantly interrupting with irrelevancies.
HODGINS
(softly)
It's true.
(to Angela) )
I love you, but it's true.
Angela nods.
CAM
Okay, we're out of here.
ANGELA
This is my office.
CAM
Let's go, Cher.
Cam looks at Angela as she heads for the door.
BOOTH
Okay, well, I'll tell you what. I'll just sit right over here in this chair and I'll wait.
Booth sits in a nearby chair. He crosses his arms over his chest.
BRENNAN
Booth, no!
Brennan rests her hands on her hips.
BOOTH
Fine.
(stands up) )
I'll wait outside, okay? With this chair.
(grabs up the chair) )
I'll be outside with this chair.
Booth walks out of the office with his chair.
Once everyone left the room, Hodgins turns to face the others.
Booth sits outside the office door. He faces them, intending to wait.
Zack is at the computer while Hodgins and Brennan watch over his shoulder.
ZACK
I'm worried that Naomi from Paleontology will feel strange being only the front half of a cow.
HODGINS
She got the good end of that deal.
Hodgins takes off his captain hat, as he sets himself infront of a computer.
BRENNAN
Who's stronger, Catwoman or Wonder Woman?
Hodgins / zack
Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
I concur vehemently.
HODGINS
All right, now, ignoring the Hawaiian pollen, these 126 sites represent loci where the necessary concentrations of particulates can be found: underground garages, tunnels, etc.
BRENNAN
Dr. Sweets says we can assume that the murderer works for a living.
HODGINS
You want us to go on psychology?
BRENNAN
Let's assume the killer has to get back and forth from his...
ZACK
In comic books, it's always called a lair.
BRENNAN
... from his lair in time for his job, sometimes during high traffic hours. Can you remove the sites which make that improbable?
ZACK
Assuming he needs to sleep.
HODGINS
Say, six hours a night.
BRENNAN
Twelve-hour shift.
ZACK
Leaving six hours for travel and torture.
HODGINS
At a maximum of two hours travel time. So, what, remove everything more than a hundred miles away?
ZACK
Too simplistic. If it's on a highway, it could be up to 120 miles away. Secondary roads, taking traffic patterns into account, less than 50. Depending on the time of day and weather conditions...
BRENNAN
It'll go faster if you do the calculations in your head, Zack, and don't explain it to us.
ZACK
Thank you.
Zack begins to mentally calculate the possibilities. He works on the computer, and then it beeps. He's narrowed it down.
HODGINS
How many does that leave?
ZACK
Thirty-one.
HODGINS
No. No way the police can hit all those, not spread thin on Halloween.
BRENNAN
We can narrow it down further. Factor, mummification.
ZACK
Yes, particulates plus mummification requires...
BRENNAN
A steady, continuous supply of dry air.
HODGINS
A large oven with blowers.
BRENNAN
I'd like to assume that the automotive particulates arrived with the blowing air.
HODGINS
Heated underground parking lots.
ZACK
How is that not guessing?
BRENNAN
Einstein referred to such assumptions as acceptable "intuitive leaps."
ZACK
I acknowledge Einstein as a scientific authority.
Zack turns back to the computer to continue his calculations and to factor in the new particulates. Hodgins watches him work.
ZACK (CONT'd)
(sighs)
But he failed us this time.
BRENNAN
The answer is in the anomalies.
HODGINS
(mutters)
The Hawaiian spore.
BRENNAN
And steel dust. What makes it?
HODGINS
Grinding, drilling, abrading.
ZACK
Scraping, milling.
HODGINS
Train wheels.
Hodgins looks at Zack and Brennan.
Hodgins (CONT'D)
Okay, intuitive leap. When a train turns, it grinds the rails, creates a steel dust.
BRENNAN
Subways which also provide warm, dry air. They're vented. Okay. What we need now are florists who carry Hodgins' Hawaiian flower which are situated directly over subway tracks.
Brennan turns to leave.
HODGINS
Wow.
Hodgins turns to watch Zack, notices Brennan leaving.
HODGINS (CONT'D)
(to Brennan)
Hey, where you going?
BRENNAN
To get Booth. Call me when you find the florist.
Brennan leaves. Hodgins turns to exchange looks with Zack.
End of act III
Act IV
EXT. STREET STOCK - NIGHT
Booth's SUV.
BOOTH (v.o.)
You're sure about this?
INT. BOOTH'S SUV - NIGHT
Booth is driving.
BRENNAN
Not at all.
BOOTH
Because you guessed.
BRENNAN
But we do not guess.
BOOTH
I think you did. I dare you to put that lasso of truth around you.
BRENNAN
Now you're being completely irrational. This lasso doesn't actually work. These bracelets aren't actually made of Amazonium. They're stainless steel. They can't stop a bullet.
Brennan's phone rings.
BOOTH
Oh-kay.
She answers it on speakerphone.
BRENNAN
Brennan.
CAM (o.s.)
Aloha Floral Supply between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / ANGELA'S OFFICE
Angela grabs the phone from Cam.
ANGELA
The store sits right over the Red Line.
BRENNAN
Thank you.
She hangs up. Booth is on the radio frequency walkie talkie.
BOOTH
Dispatch, 22-7-0-5.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Twenty-two 7-0-5, Dispatch.
BOOTH
Twenty-two 7-0-5 requests backup and local units at Aloha Flowers between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
Brennan tugs on his shirt.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Oh. Please be advised that agents are UC dressed as a
Squint and Wonder Woman.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Repeat, 22705.
BOOTH
Just picture a scientist nerd brainiac dweeb, dork, whatever.
BRENNAN
And Wonder Woman.
BOOTH
And Wonder Woman.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Acknowledge, 227-11.
EXT. ROAD - NIGHT
Booth's SUV.
EXT. ALOHA FLORAL SUPPLY - NIGHT
BOOTH (v.o.)
(groans) )
Aahh. It's closed.
Booth pulls the SUV up to the front, and parks it. Booth and Brennan exit the SUV.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Go around the back.
They go around the side of the building, and stop at a padlocked vent.
BRENNAN
Dry air.
BOOTH
Subway. Florist. Okay, stand back.
Brennan steps back, as Booth shoots the lock.
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Booth and Brennan climb down the ladder into the basement. They look around and come to gate padlocked shut with a gain.Brennan cocks her big gun.
BOOTH
Okay, where did you even find a place to carry that?
She pushes him toward the padlocked and chained wire gate door.
BRENNAN
Look, could I please shoot this one?
Booth tugs on the chain and the padlock falls off.He opens the gate. They both enter the subway access area. Booth leads. Brennan follows. A train passes near them. Brennan notices an open door off to the side.
BRENNAN (CONT'D)
Booth?
Brennan walks up the short stairs and enters the room.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / TORTURE ROOM
Inside the room Booth and Brennan come across a worktable, several empty vials and syringes. Brennan smells the table.
BRENNAN
Cedar oil, lacquer. This is where the killer mummified the bodies.
Booth looks at the empty vials on the floor.
BOOTH
Ephedrine, other... other drugs.
Booth realizes who the murder is.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
I know who the murderer is.
BRENNAN
Who?
Booth hears footsteps and looks up.
BOOTH
Let's get out of here.
Booth rushes out of the room. Brennan follows.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA - NIGHT
BOOTH
Lola beats up the girls, leaves them bleeding. Who shows up to help? Access to drugs.
BRENNAN
The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.
BOOTH
Puts them in the back of his ambulance, he knocks them unconscious.
A girl's scream can be heard.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Just stay there.
Booth reaches for the padlock on the door. It's locked. The girl screams again.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Screams are coming from inside.
BRENNAN
Can I shoot it?
BOOTH
No!
Brennan fires at the padlock! The bullet bounces off the lock and hits Booth. He yells, hoping up and down as he clutches his leg.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Yow! Geez!
BRENNAN
Oh! Sorry! Sorry, Booth!
BOOTH
You shot me! Damn it! I said no!Don't shoot! No!
BRENNAN
Are you all right? I think the bullet bounced off my bracelet. Just like Amazonium.
BOOTH
Geez, Bones.
Booth clutches his leg. Brennan takes the padlock off and opens the door.The floor is littered with snakes . Brennan screams as she jumps up on the nearby box.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
What are you doing? They're not poisonous.
BRENNAN
I know. I know.
BOOTH
Then why don't you come down?
BRENNAN
It seems I'm not completely in control of my actions.
Booth turns and offers his back to her.
BOOTH
Just get on my back.
Brennan climbs onto his back. Piggy back style.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
(groans)
Ooh! God, Bones.
Booth, with Brennan on his back, enters the room.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / SNAKE ROOM - NIGHT
BOOTH
Ow.
Megan Shaw is in a far corner, attempting to stay away from the snakes. She's terrified.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Megan?
BRENNAN
It's okay.
BOOTH
Can you understand me?
Booth and Brennan approach Megan. Megan looks up and screams. Brennan glances over her shoulders and sees a KILLER CLOWN in the doorway. He cocks his shotgun. Brennan raises her gun and shoots. The shot hits the door as clown ducks back from the doorway. The backfire causes Booth to drop Brennan. Brennan falls back and hits her head against the wall.
BRENNAN
Ugh! My head.
BOOTH
Just stop shooting at things, Bones.
Booth heads out of the room to chase after the clown.
BRENNAN
But, he had a gun!
BOOTH
You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you shoot their heads off-except me.
Brennan lifts her gun up towards Booth.
BRENNAN
My gun is too big for me.
BOOTH
I could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.
Booth exchanges guns with Brennan.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Guard Megan.
Booth heads towards the exit, his gun raised. Brennan reaches out towards Megan.
BRENNAN
Come on, Megan. Come here.
Megan and Brennan huddle in the corner.
INT. SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / NIGHT
Booth carefully and slowly leaves the room. Booth walks away from the room, searching for the killer clown. Both travels along the wall, his back to it, and his gun raised. Booth stops and hears the clown jump down from above. The clown cocks his gun. Booth turns around. The clown fires, misses , hitting the concrete near Booth. Booth ducks and fires.
Inside the room, the shots can be heard. Megan whimpers.
BRENNAN
It's okay.
Booth turns and leans against the wall. Booth reaches for and holds his waist. The killer clown rushes forward.
BOOTH
Damn it.
Booth checks his side and he's been hit and is bleeding. The clown looks around the corner. Booth sees him and fires. Booth moves. The killer clown steps out and fires at Booth. The clown takes his mask off, the killer clown is EMT Pete Geller.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
How could a guy with military training miss with a scattergun? What were you, Navy?
Geller removes the shells from his shotgun.
GELLER
Infantry.
Geller drops the shells on the floor as he reloads his gun. Inside the room, Megan whimpers. Brennan silences her.
BRENNAN
Okay.
GELLER
Which is how I know you're carrying the 50-caliber 500. Well, that's five shots.
(cocks his gun.)
And by my count...
(snaps the gun.)
... you only got one shot left.
Geller steps out and fires.
Booth checks his gun and groans.
GELLER (CONT'D)
That's one dumbass gun to bring to a shootout!
(taunts) )
Where's your backup, Booth?Shouldn't they be here by now?
Inside the room, Brennan tries to get Megan to remain silence.
BRENNAN
You need to be quiet. Can you do that, Megan?
Megan nods. Brennan stands up. Megan and Brennan make their way towards the door.
Outside, Geller hears Megan whimpering. Geller turns his head toward the snake room.
Brennan and Megan reach the door just as Geller turns and fires at the door. His shots hit the door. Brennan and Megan scream.
BOOTH
Bones, you all right?
BRENNAN
We're okay. We're okay. He's using you to get to us.
GELLER
Not for long, Booth. I'm just gonna stick my scattergun in there and empty the barrels.
Booth picks up an access panel and uses it as a shield as he makes his way back to the snake room.
GELLER (CONT'D)
Your girl is gonna look like hamburger.
Geller turns around and fires at Booth, his shots hit the access panel. Booth falls back as he drops the panel. Geller ducks behind the open snake room's door. Booth gets uo. Booth cocks his gun and aims for Geller
BOOTH
One shot.
Booth fires. The shot went right through the metal door and hit Geller. Geller grunts. Geller falls to the floor with a loud thud.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
One hell of a shot.
Brennan and Megan finally exit the room. Brennan points her gun on Geller's motionless body.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Now can you see why I hate clowns?
EXT. WASHINGTON - NIGHT
EXT. JEFFERSONIAN - NIGHT
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY - NIGHT
Angela meets up with Amber Kippler.
ANGELA
Ms. Kippler.
AMBER
Wow. Ms. Montenegro, you look amazing. Halloween, right?
ANGELA
Look, Hodgins and I haven't really decided what we're gonna do next.
AMBER
I tried to seduce him, you know.
ANGELA
Hodgins?
AMBER
Ew. No. Your husband. I took off my top and everything.
ANGELA
Why?
AMBER
I've been told I have alabaster skin that's really impossible to resist touching.
ANGELA
Isn't that some kind of conflict of interest? The PI code?
AMBER
On the contrary. I did it totally for you, the client.
ANGELA
Mm-hmm.
AMBER
I was testing your husband with my wiles so that I could properly advise you.
ANGELA
You are a very dedicated investigator.
AMBER
Which is why I have to tell you something I didn't want to say in front of Dr. Hodgkins.
ANGELA
Hodgins. There's no k.
AMBER
Your husband is deeply, deeply in love with you. Also, he has incredible abs and forearms. So what I'm suggesting is that I take you down there, mediate a meeting, and see if any old sparks don't flare back into life.
ANGELA
I'm in love with Hodgins.
AMBER
Now.
ANGELA
Forever, Ms. Kippler.
AMBER
Did I mention the little catch in his throat when he said your name?
ANGELA
Look, all I want out of him is a divorce, okay? So if you want to see him again and you want to rub your alabaster all over him and shake his snow globes, be my guest. All I want is the divorce.
Angela begins to leave.
AMBER
I hear you. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure.
ANGELA
And please don't ever say "ew" about Hodgins again.
AMBER
Beards. I don't like beards. Rspecially in conjunction with huge, blue eyes. Makes me feel like I'm staring into one of those Russian religious icons.
Angela doesn't comment. She turns and leaves. Amber turns . Hodgins is walking towards her.
AMBER (CONT'D)
Oh, Dr. Hodgkins.
HODGINS
Hod-gins. Were you just talking to Angela?
AMBER
Yes. I was telling her that her husband is extremely physically attractive.
HODGINS
Okay. Enough with that now. Quit trying to drive a wedge.
AMBER
It's a fact. On a scale of one to ten, he's ten to the tenth power.
HODGINS
What am I?
AMBER
You're a solid 7.5, which is quite respectable.
HODGINS
Your job is to help me and Angela to be together.
AMBER
Dr. Hodgkins, domestic issues make up the core of our business. And I have to tell you, most of the time they go back.
HODGINS
They go back?
AMBER
They go back to their husbands or their wives most of the time. It's a fact.
HODGINS
And you think Angela should go back to her husband?
AMBER
I don't have an opinion about should or should not. I'm more interested in will or won't. But in this case, in my opinion. I don't think she's going back to her husband.
HODGINS
Even after you practically threw him at her?
AMBER
Exactly. Aren't you glad I did? Now you can sleep like a baby because of my thorough approach.
Hodgins begins to leave. Amber smiles. Hodgins turns back.
HODGINS
Thank you.
AMBER
That's right, "thank you."
Hodgins and Amber both leave.
INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY - NIGHT
The lab is dark and empty. The doors open.
Booth and Brennan walk into the Jeffersonian.
BRENNAN
Where is everybody?
Both Brennan and Booth look horrible.
BOOTH
At the party, I guess.
BRENNAN
We could still go.
BOOTH
Ah, we look like hell.
BRENNAN
It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and, what's Superman's secret identity?
Booth pulls his nerdy glasses out of his shirt pocket, and places them on his face.
BOOTH
Clark Kent.
BRENNAN
Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad date.
Brennan takes a seat on the steps.
BOOTH
Yeah, bad date because you shot me.
BRENNAN
It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.
BOOTH
After you shot me. Okay, I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder Woman?
Booth removes his glasses and takes a seat next to Brennan. Booth sighs heavily, and Brennan looks at him.
BRENNAN
I'm sorry you had to kill someone. I know you hate that.
BOOTH
Yeah, he had it coming.
BRENNAN
You hate it. I'm sorry that happened to you.
BOOTH
We saved the girl. That's a pretty good date.
BRENNAN
Except not really a date.
BOOTH
I know. It was...
BRENNAN
... work. Not a date.
BOOTH
Really, really hard one.
BRENNAN
And we're not really Wonder Woman and Clark Kent. We're Brennan and Booth.
BOOTH
Look, you're the one who brought up the date analogy.
Brennan and Booth share a moment of silence.
BRENNAN
You hungry?
Booth puts on the nerdy glasses again.
BOOTH
Yeah.
BRENNAN
Me, too.
Booth and Brennan get up. Booth leads, and Brennan lags behind.
BOOTH
Okay, let's go grab a bite to eat.
While Booth heads towards the door, Brennan stops, and begins to spin around in a circle with her arms up at her sides. Booth turns around.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
What the hell are you doing?
Brennan stops spinning.
BRENNAN
Nothing.
They head out of the Jeffersonian.
End.
